So this is bit of a different blog post for me, but I think it’s one that every girl or boy will need at some point – I know I certainly did! The majority of people, at some point in their lives will experience some form of heartache. It’s inevitable that we will, we are emotional human beings that fall in love with our hearts at times when we should be thinking with our minds – or vice versa.
When my ex- boyfriend and I broke up, it was the first proper relationship I had so I found it hard to deal with it at first, but eventually feelings fade and you begin to see exactly why breaking up was a good idea and for the best. I am no expert in the relationship/breakup scene, but hopefully someone going through a break up at the moment will find my advice helpful – or maybe I can just read it in a few years if I experience more heartache haha
- Cut all ties
Do not text your ex for the chats, do not like their Instagram posts or Facebook pictures. At the start I think it is just best to delete them from all social media. It may seem harsh, but what is also tough is having to see their face and what they’re doing even though you’re not involved in their lives anymore. You don’t want to find yourself stalking their profiles because that won’t change anything!
Yes I did say mourn. You technically are experiencing a loss, you need to take time out to cry, watch sad movies, eat your body weight in chocolate and feel like you are going to live alone with 10 dogs for the rest of your life. It is an essential stage in any breakup and I highly recommend it. Let me know if you are in need of any movie recommendations, I will sort you out!
- Depend on Friends
Friends are so important in a breakup. They will make you see sense even when you don’t think there is any sense in the world at that moment. They are also excellent company when you are in mourning. Some of them may have also had breakups and can give you advice. Plus it is by law their role as a friend to tell you how you can do better, or to tell you that you made the right choice – and these are vital sentences you need to hear after breaking up!
- Make a change
No I am not saying that there is something wrong with you and you need to change, but I always feel that if I go through something that has me stressed or upset I need to start fresh. This could be in the form of going out and buying a new outfit, or shopping online if you are still at stage 2, or change your room around, clean out your wardrobe! Anything will help. Personally, I like to change my hair, I get bored anyway with my hair but I loved cutting my hair or changing the colour to ‘feel like a new woman’ haha – it worked!
- Have fun – make plans
Is there anything you couldn’t do when you were in a relationship? Well now is the perfect chance to do it! If they didn’t like to travel, this is your time to. If they didn’t want to go out every weekend – now is your chance. Make sure you keep busy, make plans with friends, family and do what you want. When your single you don’t have to think about your boyfriend/girlfriend, you get to be selfish and think about yourself – so use this as a time to focus on yourself and do what you want to.
This is the probably the scariest step, but exciting at the same time. I think it is different for everyone, some want to go on the dating scene pretty soon after they experience a breakup whilst others don’t even want to think about it for months. When you are ready, you’ll know and what I will say is there is no harm in trying. Whether you meet someone through friends, on a night out, at work, on tinder or even someone you have known quite some time – it is important to get back out there. You don’t need to date with the intention of falling in love, just enjoy it and meet new people – embrace the single life!
Always remember, things happen for a reason. At the start it is hard, especially if there are still feelings involved, but sadly at times even if two people have feelings for each other it just can’t work. What you need to do is accept that, and know that when the time is right you will meet someone else that is right for you.
P.s. Do not get back together, there was a reason you broke up in the first place.