Warning: This is going to be a long one!!
I decided to write something today that I feel is quite personal for me about weightless and what is working for me right now. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to get fit and have always wanted to loose weight – I am by no means fat, but there are a lot of clothes in my wardrobe that don’t fit me anymore and I up until a month ago, I hadn’t exercised in about 4 months. I am very self conscious and I overall just want to feel confident and fit, in time for summer when I will have to get the legs out (DREADING IT).
Summer 2014 – England.
I moved to England after my final year exams in summer 2014. I was really looking forward to experiencing life outside of Ireland and living away from home. I was starting my internship in marketing and felt so good, even though I had to leave friends and family behind. The first few weeks were great, it was summer and everything was new. Unfortunately it didn’t last. I had to work and live with someone that made me feel more alone than I had ever felt before, nervous and anxious – I wanted to move home. To deal with that sense of loneliness and sadness I turned to food and I ate comfort food every day for months (microwave meals, pastas, chips, multiple chocolate bars and packets of biscuits a day), I was binge eating almost everyday to deal with how I was feeling. I decided to join a gym which I went to probably 4 times whilst I was there, I felt so self conscious that I couldn’t even bring myself to go on walks or try running even around a nearby park. The gym in England just didn’t work for me – and that made me feel even worse.
Late Spring, Early Summer 2015
I made the decision to move home early, 3 months before my internship was due to end as I couldn’t deal with how unhappy I was anymore. I moved home but continued to work full time remotely to finish my internship and got a part time job on the weekends – absolute madness. I spent so much time at home during the week that I continued to eat how I did in England as I formed a habit, and then on the weekends I would go out and drink a lot. and eat badly each day on lunch – My boyfriend and I at the time also broke up which didn’t help with the eating situation either. I finished my internship in June I believe and then started working full time in admin until October when I got a full time job in recruitment.
From late 2015 into 2016, my eating habits were up and down. I still carried the same weight weight gain if not more from England and the vending machine in work became my best friend on stressful days. I then went through a bit of a career change in July which made me even more stressed about starting a new role, but this was the first time that I decided to do something about it. I was so sick of waking up and craving bad food that I entered a competition on Facebook to win membership at a near by gym which has classes Monday to Saturday and personal training options, and ended up winning! My first day at work at my new job, I got up that morning and went to the 6am class – I felt great. I continued with classes from July – October and had managed to loose a good bit off weight. I then decided to join a nearby gym because of a deal they had on at the time – with a work gym scheme it worked out a lot cheaper and I thought that I could take what I learnt at Lorna Flood Fitness (click here to see more) to the gym and train myself. I joined the gym in November, didn’t go for the first time until January – they did me up a fitness plan, advised me on classes to attend and did everything to ensure that I would feel comfortable, but again I felt way too self conscious to go alone – I hated how I looked and would feel so anxious before and even after going. In the 4 months that I was a member I went 5 times.
In late February, I decided that I couldn’t stand feeling self conscious anymore or the fact that my clothes were getting tighter. I had reached the heaviest weight that I had ever been, so decided to go back to Lorna Flood Fitness, the only place where I lost weight and actually enjoyed working out. The classes are tough, don’t get me wrong and I still get so anxious and nervous sometimes before classes. At the start I had such fear that on some drives to and from I cried because of how bad and unfit I felt. I was devastated at how I let myself get so unfit but knew deep down what I was doing was going to make a difference. I have been back at the classes now just over a month and can already see a difference. I have signed up for personal training sessions every 2 weeks to keep my momentum up as I feel that I am not in the regime of health and fitness yet so need an extra push!!
I sometimes think why on earth did I stop going to the fitness classes and join the gym, because I am now 5 months behind where I could have been. You can see how happy I was about starting Lorna’s classes here in August in my previous blog post (click here). I tried a gym when I lived in England, so why didn’t I know that it wasn’t for me – but to be honest it doesn’t really matter now does it? What’s more important is that I know now what works and I know that I won’t quit again.
I am not sure why I decided to write this post, I just sometimes people feel that the gym is the only way to go and that fitness classes are seen to be the “easy way”. I think it’s just about what works for you. Fair play to people who can go to a gym and get what they need to done, but I am not and probably won’t ever be that person! Lorna pushes me when I need it and knowing how good I feel after a class motivates me to go.
I am going to be posting more often about recipes, home workout ideas and anything to help anybody get motivated to get fit and healthy on my different social media platforms, but mainly snapchat (samanthalovesxo). Feel free to send me on any tips you may have too – I definitely need them!!